Jesus says that “love is a gift” that cannot be expected, demanded or earned and whilst I thought this is a beautiful way to view love, I’m only just starting to become aware of what this really means. Although, I know that I must let go of my erroneous belief about love and feel God’s Truth, that love is a gift, before it will sink deep into my heart. I have realised that it is a gift of my love to share my real self with others who care for me and want to know me, which I have never thought of myself in this way before today, that who I am is a gift. How I came to this realisation was through my prayer to God yesterday morning, I asked God to show me what my biggest fear is and to help me become aware of what was stopping me from actioning my biggest passion. By late afternoon I started to become aware of my biggest fear, which hinders much of my progression.
My biggest fear is being my real self and sharing who I am with others. I can show parts of my real self with those that are closest to me and on my blog (although this is a small portion of the depths of my passions), but on a larger scale I am terrified of sharing who I am, what I love, and what my passions and desires are. A fear that I have also realised that the majority of people have; afraid to be our real self 100% of the time, afraid of being judged, rejected, abandoned or attacked for being who we were created to be. What I have come to learn on my journey is that, because human love is greatly flawed and is not God’s definition of Love, whether we are being our real self or our façade self, we are not going to be loved the way God Loves Her children. So I would rather be my real self and please God, to live in harmony with God’s Love, and to become happier, healthier, and more free, than to live in a façade degrading my soul in order to try and please people that don’t really love me anyway.
Being our real self, who God created us to be, is a gift of love to ourselves and to others
My biggest passion is to teach Divine Truth through my personal experiences, so that it may assist others that are interested in developing a relationship with God and growing their soul in Love. However, I have a fear of public speaking, which I have had as long as I can remember, so this limits me to sharing my passion to those that are close to me or via my blog. Thus, the reason for my prayer to God, to show me what is getting in the way of following my passions, and also to receiving more of God’s Love. I asked God why was I so scared to express myself to large groups of people, which is my fear of sharing my real self, due to not being able to be who I was created to be as a child and I continued this throughout my adult life. I was taught by my home environment and society that I can’t be myself and if I’m not who others want me to be, than I will be dis-approved of, rejected, judged and/or attacked. So I learnt to be my façade self in order to try and lessen, and protect myself from this unloving behaviour.
Growing up in a restrictive and unloving environment has had a major impact on my whole life, including being fearful of expressing, being, and sharing my real self to most people, and especially in front of large groups of people. As a result, I have not embraced my biggest passion, which is not loving to myself as I don’t get to know and discover more of who I am, as well as limiting my growth. Also, this is not loving to others, as I am making it about me and not about sharing how beautiful and extremely beneficial it is to have a relationship with God, and to receive God’s Love. So my intention now is to challenge my fears and feel through them, so that I can feel the underlying causal emotions, which will enable me to be and express my real self more.
When I sincerely put the principals of Divine Truth into practice, they do work and life becomes more joyful, there’s more freedom and a growing confidence to be who God created me to be. One of the many benefits of developing a relationship with God, is that it makes this process so much easier than working through emotional injuries on your own.
God Loves all Her children and She is with us, and helping us every step of the way, even when at times we may feel God is not.