Tag Archives: Fear

Sharing My Real Self with Others

Be True to YourselfJesus says that “love is a gift” that cannot be expected, demanded or earned and whilst I thought this is a beautiful way to view love, I’m only just starting to become aware of what this really means. Although, I know that I must let go of my erroneous belief about love and feel God’s Truth, that love is a gift, before it will sink deep into my heart. I have realised that it is a gift of my love to share my real self with others who care for me and want to know me, which I have never thought of myself in this way before today, that who I am is a gift. How I came to this realisation was through my prayer to God yesterday morning, I asked God to show me what my biggest fear is and to help me become aware of what was stopping me from actioning my biggest passion. By late afternoon I started to become aware of my biggest fear, which hinders much of my progression.

My biggest fear is being my real self and sharing who I am with others. I can show parts of my real self with those that are closest to me and on my blog (although this is a small portion of the depths of my passions), but on a larger scale I am terrified of sharing who I am, what I love, and what my passions and desires are. A fear that I have also realised that the majority of people have; afraid to be our real self 100% of the time, afraid of being judged, rejected, abandoned or attacked for being who we were created to be. What I have come to learn on my journey is that, because human love is greatly flawed and is not God’s definition of Love, whether we are being our real self or our façade self, we are not going to be loved the way God Loves Her children. So I would rather be my real self and please God, to live in harmony with God’s Love, and to become happier, healthier, and more free, than to live in a façade degrading my soul in order to try and please people that don’t really love me anyway.

Being our real self, who God created us to be, is a gift of love to ourselves and to others

My biggest passion is to teach Divine Truth through my personal experiences, so that it may assist others that are interested in developing a relationship with God and growing their soul in Love. However, I have a fear of public speaking, which I have had as long as I can remember, so this limits me to sharing my passion to those that are close to me or via my blog. Thus, the reason for my prayer to God, to show me what is getting in the way of following my passions, and also to receiving more of God’s Love. I asked God why was I so scared to express myself to large groups of people, which is my fear of sharing my real self, due to not being able to be who I was created to be as a child and I continued this throughout my adult life. I was taught by my home environment and society that I can’t be myself and if I’m not who others want me to be, than I will be dis-approved of, rejected, judged and/or attacked. So I learnt to be my façade self in order to try and lessen, and protect myself from this unloving behaviour.

Growing up in a restrictive and unloving environment has had a major impact on my whole life, including being fearful of expressing, being, and sharing my real self to most people, and especially in front of large groups of people. As a result, I have not embraced my biggest passion, which is not loving to myself as I don’t get to know and discover more of who I am, as well as limiting my growth. Also, this is not loving to others, as I am making it about me and not about sharing how beautiful and extremely beneficial it is to have a relationship with God, and to receive God’s Love. So my intention now is to challenge my fears and feel through them, so that I can feel the underlying causal emotions, which will enable me to be and express my real self more.

When I sincerely put the principals of Divine Truth into practice, they do work and life becomes more joyful, there’s more freedom and a growing confidence to be who God created me to be. One of the many benefits of developing a relationship with God, is that it makes this process so much easier than working through emotional injuries on your own.

God Loves all Her children and She is with us, and helping us every step of the way, even when at times we may feel God is not.

Love
Jennene 💝

~ Padgett Messages – A message from Helen Padgett November 30, 1914.

Challenging My Fear Of Heights

Over the past month I have been challenging my fear of heights, this has not been easy for me to work through or want to feel the emotions of fear – I would rather avoid this emotion, but I know it is not loving for me or others when I live in fear rather then feeling it and releasing it from my soul.

I have spoken before about challenging my fear of heights as I feel it may help others to have faith in their ability to challenge and heal the emotions that hold us back from living a more happy and fulfilled life.

The following are some of the recent challenges I set for myself in a safe environment, in order from easier to the hardest:

* Looking over and walking next to the railing on the second or higher floor of a shopping centre

* Driving up steep roads

* Scenic Lookouts

* Treetop Adventure Park

* Walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge (this is not the Bridge Climb, just walking across)

View from Sydney Harbour Bridge

View of Sydney Harbour through the railings on the Bridge. A cold and rainy day, the rain stopped just before my walk.

I started these challenges with what I felt would be easier for me and worked my way up to the hardest, which in the past have been the most fearful for me to experience. On Saturday I walked across the Sydney Harbour Bridge, this time I walked without holding onto my husband Jason’s hand and squeezing it until it almost dropped off. I approached this challenge a bit differently to my previous attempts to face my fear of heights and it was a successful outcome for me, which has given me faith in my ability to feel my fear and become free of an emotion that holds me back.

What worked for me:

* Prayer to God to help me feel my fear and to not run away as soon as I start to feel overwhelmed by fear.

* I asked God to help me face my challenge with love.

* I asked my Guardian Angel and Celestial brothers & sisters to help me.

* I was loving, gentle and compassionate with myself as I felt through different emotions that came up for me.

* I stopped at different stages throughout the walk when I felt overwhelmed, I didn’t push myself to keep walking, I just stopped and felt. I could feel the love around me – encouraging me and I could feel my own love and compassion for myself.

* I breathed deeply which helped me to keep feeling and stay present with what I was experiencing, rather then shutting down and not wanting to feel fear.

* I didn’t ask anyone to help me avoid feeling my fears.

I was amazed at what began to happen from embracing this process – the fear released and I started to feel free and for the first time I could start to enjoy the view without feeling like I just wanted to get out of there. I began to walk beside the rail and look out across the harbour (I couldn’t do this last time I walked across the bridge), I began to feel some joy that I could actually feel and release this emotion that stops me in my tracks.

I now have faith that each time I challenge my fears that it will get easier and one day the fear will be no more.

I’m looking forward to that day 🙂

Jennene 💗

Have We Created Courage Because We Live In So Much Fear?

Love heart rock Mt kosciuszko

Love heart rock I found while facing my fear of heights at Mt Kosciuszko

Dictionary definitions of courage:

  • The ability to do something that frightens one; bravery.
  • Strength in the face of pain or grief.
  • The quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.
  • Have the courage of one’s convictions, to act in accordance with one’s beliefs, especially in spite of criticism.
  • Obsolete – the heart as the source of emotion.

My definitions of courage:

  • To find an inner strength to do something when I am faced with fear.
  • Moral courage is to speak up for what I believe is loving and truthful, even though I may fear judgement from others.
  • Physical courage is helping another that may be in danger and it may also put yourself in danger.

I have recently listened to an inspiring short talk on courage and whilst it was good, there was a statement made in the talk that—courage is what changes the world—which caused me to ponder about courage and to feel more deeply about what courage actually is. From my own experiences so far, it is Love that is changing me and I believe that Love—God’s Love is what will change the world.

The more I learn about Love, the more I see how much myself and the world have walked away from God’s Love and the pure state of natural love in which God had originally created us. Every time I hear or read about someone’s story it is mostly built around fear (including my own) we live in fear in our daily lives—every unloving emotion usually comes from a place of fear (due to unloving events that have taken place in our lives).

We use courage when we are fearful of something; the popular saying—“feel the fear and do it anyway”—if we were not fearful we would not need courage in order to act or follow our hearts desires. We would not need to seek the approval of others to embrace the life our soul longs for, to speak up when love and truth is required, to assist others is something we would all naturally do if we did not come from a place of fear, but a place of love. Since God’s Love removes all fear then we would not need courage in order to live our lives each day; Love would guide our actions in every moment.

So while I still have many fears to work through, when I am willing to face my fears I use courage—or perhaps it is simply just a strong will to grow and knowing if I don’t face my fears I will live in them and I will not progress in love. My own questioning about courage has inspired me to ask God to teach me about facing my fears with love and to feel why I need courage in the first place. I have a feeling as I write that it has to do with trust; not trusting in God’s perfect design.

Imagine living life with no fear – Imagine the world living with no fear –
Imagine the world living and acting in love.
I imagine this is what heaven is like.

Jennene 💗

Our Journey to Mt Kosciuszko

Happy New Year! Everyone,

We have just come back from a holiday in the Snowy Mountains, NSW Australia. It is the summer season here and the best time to climb the highest mountain in Australia—Mt Kosciuszko. Mountain climbing is not something I have done before or think about doing (due to my fear of heights), it was my husbands desire for some time now to climb this mountain and my desire to face my fears that led me to take this journey of discovery, exploring, learning and facing my fears along the way.

After looking at the different walks you can take to get to the top of Mt Kosciuszko, we decided that we would do the Summit Walk, which starts from the popular skiing village at Thredbo. This part I was not looking forward to as you need to take the Kosciuszko Express Chairlift from the bottom of Thredbo to the top of the mountain, which is 1.8km long, it rises 560 vertical metres and takes 15 minutes one way. The thought of this was nearly enough to stop me from going, but I had a strong desire to face my fears and so there I was about to get on the chairlift, looking up and thinking “OMG, I have to come back down on this. God I am going to need Your help.” I held on so tight, kept my eyes open, didn’t move and allowed myself to feel my fear, part the way up my fear started to fade, but I still couldn’t look behind me to see how high up we were. The chairlift reached the beginning of our walk and as my feet touched the ground I started crying as I looked back down the mountain towards Thredbo Village and said, “there is no way I am getting back on that chairlift to go back down, I will walk back down.” My family looked at me in amazement and said, “that is a very long and steep walk down,” it was very clear that I was still blocking myself from fully feeling my emotions of fear and I wasn’t thinking about how my body would feel after mountain walking for 5 hours.

Kosciuszko Express Chairlift

Kosciuszko Express Chairlift – A view of Thredbo Village.

Our walking journey begins and although it is summer and at the bottom of Thredbo we were in t-shirts—as it was hot—we were now 1927m above sea level and it was very cold and windy, so out came the jackets, beanies and gloves, and I was still cold. From the top of Thredbo it is a 13km return walk to the top of Mt Kosciuszko, which took us about 5 hours in total to walk.

Top of Thredbo

Top of Thredbo – 1927m above sea level.

I am so glad that I didn’t let my fear of heights stop me from embracing this amazing journey. The pictures don’t show the true beauty of this beautiful landscape, but I will do my best to share some of what I saw, heard and experienced along the way.

I was also glad to see the path ahead was not on the side of a cliff so that I could enjoy the journey. Most of the walk was on a raised metal path you can see in the photo below, to protect the environment. I have posted some photo’s further down where there are changes in the path we walked on.

Mt Kosciuszko Walk

Mt Kosciuszko Walk

There are rocks and boulders everywhere, which are homes to endangered animals such as the tiny mountain pygmy-possum and home for the bogong moth which migrate here every spring to get away from the heat, these moths are eaten by animals and birds. The only animal we saw and heard were ravens, the moment we started walking to the end of our walk. You could hear hundreds of them and as we progressed along, we began to see some, then closer to Mt Kosciuszko summit we saw hundreds (some photo’s of the ravens further on, I also filmed the sound of them, but the wind was so loud you couldn’t hear them when I played it back). We also saw ants, lizards, tadpoles, butterflies, moths, flies and march flies (flies where at the top of Mt Kosciuszko and at the the end of our walk back, as the weather was warmer).

Mt Kosciuszko

Mt Kosciuszko – Rams Head Range

Mt Kosciuszko

Mt Kosciuszko – Granite boulders everywhere.

The two paragraphs below are from a sign along the walk:

Every spring mountain pygmy-possums and other animals feast on the bogong moths that come to the mountains to escape the heat of the plains. The possums also eat seeds and berries of alpine shrubs such as the mountain plum-pine, caterpillars, beetles and spiders.

The bogong feasting assists the possums to put on large amounts of fat. They often double their body weight. Their ability to store fat and hibernate under the snow helps them survive winter. Under the insulating snow, they lower their body temperature by 35 °C. This slows their metabolism so they can live off their fat and not eat for up to seven months. They curl up and hibernate in spaces between the rocks and below the snow, in places where the temperature only goes down to 2°C.

Snow Beard-heath, berries around a rock on Mt Kosciuszko

Around this rock is Snow Beard-heath, one of the berries that the pygmy-possums eat and they can also store seeds and nuts for the winter months.

Mt Kosciuszko - Granite and rock path

Mt Kosciuszko – Part of the granite and rock path we walked along.

Mt Kosciuszko Walk

Mt Kosciuszko Walk – Steps to help with the steep climb up.

Snowy River Headwaters

Mt Kosciuszko – Snowy River headwaters where it begins its 500km journey to the sea.

Mt Kosciuszko Lookout

Mt Kosciuszko Lookout

This is Mt Kosciuszko Lookout, in the above photo you can see Mt Kosciusko in the distance with snow laying just beneath the peak of the mountain. Below is a close up of the same view, but due to the strong winds and high altitude the weather can change in a matter of seconds.

Mt Kosciuszko Lookout

Mt Kosciuszko Lookout – Fog or clouds covering the view.

Silver Snow Daisies before they have flowered

Silver Snow Daisies before they have flowered, it looked like grass covered in snow.

Below is Lake Cootapatamba, this is the highest glacial lake in Australia. This lake is just below the climb to the peak/summit of Mt Kosciuszko. Rawsons Pass is just ahead which is about 30-40min climb from there to the top. This photo also shows more of the wildflowers that we saw throughout our walk.

Lake Cootapatamba

Mt Kosciuszko – Lake Cootapatamba, the highest glacial lake in Australia.

Mt Kosciuszko

This is part the way up the final climb to the top of Mt Kosciuszko, I took this photo of a dead tree trunk of which I had seen a few of these along the way (I think it may be an Alpine Ash Tree). There were no trees on our entire walk as it is too cold for them to grow here. The only greenery is of low growth and shrubs covering the ground.

Clouds Mt Kosciuszko

Mt Kosciuszko – These clouds came towards us and we walked through them, it was amazing to be so high up that you are walking through clouds. I was in total awe at this stage of how beautiful this place was and to be witnessing and learning so much about God and also wondering how much more beautiful it would have been when God first created it.

Me on top of Mt Kosciuszko

Yay! I made it to the top of Mt Kosciuszko, 2228m above sea level. My beanie and gloves only came off for a minute as it was so much colder up here and the winds were so strong.

View from the top of Mt Kosciuszko

View from the top of Mt Kosciuszko, looking back on the path we walked.

Mt kosciuszko Walk

Mt kosciuszko Walk – Our journey back.

Ravens Mt Kosciuszko

Mt Kosciuszko – Ravens flying to the boulders on our walk back.

Ravens on Mt Kosciuszko

Mt Kosciuszko – Ravens on boulders.

Love heart rock on the Mt kosciuszko walk

Mt kosciuszko – Love heart shaped rock I spotted on our journey back.

Feeling tired after our 5 hour walk, I decided to be brave and get back on the chairlift (after all I did just climb up to the top of the highest mountain in Australia, surely I can go down a chairlift that is not as high and not have anymore fear?), but not without instructions—I did ask nicely and used my manners, but they were still instructions—of where I wanted to sit, I’m going to close my eyes until we have passed the steepest part and can my family please let me know when that has occurred, when we sit quickly pull the lap bar down (so I don’t fall out) wow! that answers my question, the fear is still there.

Kosciuszko Express Chairlift

Kosciuszko Express Chairlift – Heading back to Thredbo Village.

Most of the time I become quickly aware of what I’m creating, which helped me to realise what I was doing and see my expectations of others, which also helps me to avoid feeling. So I opened my eyes within seconds of getting on the chairlift and allowed myself to feel the fear and I started to look around at the view. I looked up at the cable that was carrying our chair, which was thick and looked strong. I looked at the track that the cable went through and noticed that it hooked around the cable so that the cable couldn’t come off. I also looked at the height underneath us and thought, “if I do fall the worst that can happen is some broken bones.” I was feeling, but also using my logic to look at how safe I actually was, this is something that I normally don’t do when I am faced with fear of heights—I usually try to avoid it—I also asked God and my guides to help me.

There has been some progress for me today, lots of self-reflection, awareness and learning, but I know that I haven’t released this fear from my soul and I have more adventures coming up that involve heights, so this is something that I desire to heal and become free of. I will keep posting my progress as I feel it is very important to work through our fears and not let this stop us from living in our passions and desires that are in harmony with God’s Love. Fear also stagnates my growth.

Every experience in life is an opportunity to learn from, to heal your soul and to grow in love

The end of our amazing journey/adventure, one that I will never forget; one beautiful part of Australia that I feel grateful to have walked, learnt from, witnessed and felt; another opportunity to learn more about our Divine Parent and the Love that is evident in all of God’s Creations.

Jennene 💗